My life is a movie

I was watching Sex and the City movie and realized I am Carrie Bradshaw after John leaves her on their wedding day.

Numb, well almost
Barely eating.
Not living.
She dyed her hair, I cut mine.
Just going through the motions of everyday life but not really participating. I make it through most of them.

The only thing I don't have is 3 best friends to cry to. 

We always think we can withstand anything that life throws at us but, sometimes, life blindsides us and we are left dazed and confused.

I don't hold out much hope for a happy ending. 

1st chistmas

Today we had Aurora's 1st Christmas.  (My youngest grand daughter)

Her mother is off today but works tomorrow, so today was half the family, tomorrow the other half.

So family arrived with gifts, but we hadto have bananas first.  LOL

After the bananas we got down to gifts.  There were several gifts of bottles which she was vary interest in, except that they were empty.

Her parents got her a stuffed animal that talks. She loved it.

She also got a toy that she can walk behind. She hasn't quite figured it out yet.

Our tradition is homemade mexican on Christmas. Again, due to my children's work schedules, we have divided the meal into two day. Today is Chicken Tortilla Soup with homemade cheese dip and homemade salsa.

Tomorrow is Sour Cream and Chicken Enchiladas and beef Chimichangas.  (spelling?)

We are also going to start on all 8 Harry Potter movies.  (I may be going to bed early. LOL)

Speaking of cooking, my youngest twins birthday was the 22nd.  They wanted to have friends over for dinner.  Yes, don't all 17 yr olds want a dinner party for their dirthday??  So I cooked Chicken and Parmesean Basil Dumplings.  It was a hit. 

My best friend Renda (who is married to my brother, even though I am an only child) got me a cook book for Christmas. Fifty Shades of Chicken.  LOL

It's a conspiracy to get me back into cooking. 

Depressing post

I don't know if my life could get more boring. 

Back when I was in college, and working full time, and raising kids; I couldn't wait to have a free weekend to do nothing.  Now I wish I had just one weekend a month that was fun. 

It's probably my own fault.  I have friends but I also keep the grand babies alot. I need to learn to say no more.  The funk I have been in has also played a big role in it.  Even now I am not sure if I would go out if given the chance. 

I should be thankful for this quiet time. Tax season is just around the corner with it's longer days and working every Saturday. I will once again be wishing for a boring weekend.

I need to start cooking again. I love to cook but I haven't felt like it lately. Add in the fact that I wasn't eating and I just didn't see the point.  The girls all work in restaurants so when they work it is basically just me, and a grandchild or two, and I don't know how to cook for one.

Christmas is right around the corner and I have done nothing. No tree, no decorations, nothing.  And I don't want to.  I am not even looking forward to cooking.  I hope the New Year is truly a new one, cause this one has sucked. 

Work has been going well.  Working on a few big projects which has kept me busy and, most times, my mind off other things. So maybe tax season will be a blessing in disguise.

For now, I just try to make it though to the next day.

Life

Thanksgiving went well.  I cooked both entrees and we all ate and it was a nice quiet family time. I got to spend all day with my oldest granddaughter. She was alot of help. LOL

Since then life has been slowly getting better. Even if more hectic.

When the kids were younger our life had a rhythm. A steady and predictable pace.  They went to school, I went to work.  When we got home it was homework, dinner, laundry, etc.  Now the 3 girls at home all have jobs and it is rare that we are all home together. 

My cooking habits have changed.  With no husband to cook for, most nights I don't cook at all.  I keep frozen stuff for me and whoever might be home.  The nights I do cook we end up with tons of leftovers since I don't know how to cook for just 2. 

Don't get me wrong, I am glad they are all growing up and having their own lives, but sometimes I do miss the times when we were all home together every night.  I have empty nest syndrome without the completely empty nest.

Work wise I am enjoying this quiet time before the start of tax season.  I know it is only 3.5 months but it feels a lot longer. You would think after 6 years I wouldn't stress over it, but I do each year.  Good news is with the kids all working and having their own lives, they won't have time to miss me not being here. LOL