Saturday, October 20, 2012

Hit me baby one more time....or three

The other night I had looked up a Gladys Knight & the Pips song on Youtube. As I was listening to the song, I began reading the comments.  Did you know that she was married 4 times? Neither did I.  That didn't shock me, what shocked me was the amount of negative comments regarding it.

It seems that society can accept one divorce. After two you get labeled and, heaven forbid, three and you are branded as a failure or a negative role model.


In business, and even in athletics, we are praised for repeated attempts at success. How many failures did Thomas Eddison have before he perfected the light bulb? Yet we forgive, and even glorify, people like Charlie Sheen and Michael Vick who did far worse than end a bad marriage.

Why was she divorced 3 times? I don't know and frankly I don't care.

Maybe it was the men. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was her. Maybe she had yet to find the one person who brought out the best in her. Helped her become the woman she was meant to be. Why should she settle for less? Why should anyone? It is really so bad that instead of just "shacking up" with the first 3 she made a commitment and stayed with it until its conclusion?

If someone stays at a dead end job, never trying to better themselves, we consider them a loser. We believe they should take a chance, step out in faith, change their life. Why should the matters of the heart be any different.  I don't believe every marriage is meant to last. People make mistakes, people grow apart. You marry someone hoping for the best but their best isn't good enough.

Divorce hurts. Whether it's your 1st or 15th.  It is the end of a dream, and of a life. A life you planned out with the other person. A life you lived every day believing you were building.  The realization that you were not enough is soul crushing.  Not enough to keep them faithful, not enough to make them happy, not enough to make them put forth an effort.

You are forever scarred by that.

Being judged doesn't help.


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