Wednesday, November 21, 2012


Macaroni and cheese and bacon.
That was last nights dinner.

The joys of living with teenage girls. LOL

Thanksgiving will be interesting this year as well thanks to the above-mentioned girls.  They each want something different.

Heather wants traditional:
Green bean casserole

Lindsay wants:
Hot wings
Homemade french fries.

Neither is willing to compromise and eat  their desired meal on Friday.

Middle East peace talks have nothing on the negotiation skills I have tried to utilize. And just like the Middle East, neither is willing to compromise. So I am cooking it all on Thursday and I better not hear a word about eating leftovers on Friday and Saturday.

Yes, I am a very in charge parent. lol

Life has been hard lately. I separated from my husband in September. Along with all of his stuff, his paycheck (1/2 our monthly income) left also. It was HARD.  Borrowed money from work and my best friend. My children have helped pay bills and my oldest daughter bought all the food and household items for 2 months. I am very thankful to them for their help.

We are getting better. This month all the bills were covered, I bought groceries and my children got to spend some of their money on............themselves.  I could not have made it without them.

On top of that, a person I cared a great deal for hurt me. BAD.  It is hard when you hear what they are saying, but you know it not them. Not their true feelings. You can't stop them from lying to themselves to make things the way they want them to be. All you can do is pray for them and for yourself, for healing.

All of this has put me in a "funk".  I barely sleep or I sleep for hours and hours. I barely eat. I have lost 20 pounds in the past month. Stress is good for something I guess.  People keep telling me to smile, eat, shake it off, be who I used to be. But I am no longer who I used to be.  Scars change us, sometimes permanently.

The pain will fade, over time, but things I used to "know" and believe and trust and no longer there. 
It is scary when you can know longer trust your own feelings.

But each new day, is a day to heal.

The grand babies are doing wonderful.  The oldest is a walking bundle of fun and energy. The youngest has decided that walking is more important than growing teeth. 8  months old, standing, trying to walk, with 2 teeth.  One day she is going to have to stop and grow them.  LOL

My youngest son works tomorrow so I have the oldest, 14 months, all day. Cooking will get done but there will lots of playing and cuddling.

Not a bad way to spend the day.


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