Only the lonely

Yesterday I took my last final of this semester. As on most college campuses, parking is an issue and I had to park quite aways from the class. As I was walking back to my car I was thinking how I felt differently as an undergrade.  In those days I would often crisscross campus to get from one class to the next. I always had a bookbag/backpack and one year I even had one with wheels. (I am over 40 lol)

Even though I live in a neighboring state, I was lucky to find people who live near me that were also going to UWF. We took almost every class together. There was hardly a day that I walked to a class alone. I knew people in my class, we talked often, studied together. I LOVED going to school. I made great grades and the years flew by.

Yesterday was totally different. Most Masters classes are online. To provide more flexibility since even people who went to college straight out of high school would now be working. I don't know my classmates, I study alone, at home.  Even my family doesn't "get" how much time I need to study.  And after work, dinner, spending time with kids and husband, when I finally sit down to teach myself the material - I am exhausted.  And alone.

I think that is what I hate the most.  I enjoy the interaction and learning when I am on campus. But since school is 1 to 1 1/2 hours away, it is hard to leave work, especially during tax season.

I have no motivation, no drive. I am not enjoying school now.

I need to find a way to "get it together" for my last 6 classes.  6!! Yes that is all and I will have my Masters degree.  The joy from that fact needs to carry me on.