Hello.......anybody out there?

It's been awhile since I posted.  It's hard to blog when you are being held hostage and chained to a desk.  Tax season!!!!   But I survived to warn others so it's all good.

There are several things that always surprise me during tax season:

1.  My family's reaction.

 This is my 7th tax season and they still acted shocked when I work overtime. They looked confused when the overtime increases and includes Saturdays and Sundays.  I get texts at 8 pm with one person wanting to know where I am and another wanting to know what is for dinner.   They are shocked when I am tired, cranky, forgetful, and stressed.   I mean why should I be....I sit at a desk all day, typing on a computer.  What is so hard about that!?!?!?!?

Never mind that I have to account for every 6 minutes of my day, remember and apply volumes of tax code on a daily basis, deal with 4 partners who all do things just a little different, clients who thing you have nothing to do but their stuff, oh and, produce a product that can stand up in tax court.

No pressure, really.

2. Realizing , every April 17th, that you live in a dump.

I am sure that, in March, I "saw" the dirt on the floors, the rings in the toilets and tub, the cobwebs, the sticky stuff both inside the fridge and on the floor in front of it...I just didn't have enough brain power left to care.

But as you pull in the drive on April 17th, you realize you have the trashiest yard on the street. You open the door and, " what is that smell?"   You look around and Ewe!!!!

Ok ok...maybe not quite that bad, but you get my point.  

It's bad enough my life has been put on hold for 3 1/2 months, now I have to clean up the mess my family made living without me.

Ok enough post tax season rant.  I have a fridge to clean.

Blog challenge - Day 6

Your 5 senses right now.

Sight - watching Netflix with Heather.

Sound - Nikko is sleeping on a blanket by me. When he sleeps, he snores and "runs"

Smell - sausage cooking for a late breakfast.

Taste - Dark roast Sumatra coffee with French Vanilla creamer.

Touch - I feel my fuzzy slippers, thermal Henley and warm pjs. It's cold.

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Blog challenge - Day 5

10 Songs you are loving right now

1.  Redeemed - Big Daddy Weave
2.  My Redeemer Lives - Various Artists
3. Neither One of Us - Gladys Night and The Pips
4. Night Train - Jason Aldean
5.  Good Morning - Mandisa
6.  I can only Imagine - Mercy Me
7.  Your Great Name - Natalie Grant
8.  Colder Weather - Zac Brown Band
9.  Georgia Rain - Trisha Yearwood
10.  Mysterious Ways - U2

It was hard to narrow it down to 10.  I love so much music.

Blog Challenge - Day 4

What are you afraid of.

Like most people I am scared of spiders, snake, rats, heights, etc.  But what truly scares me is the thought of dying.

I scared it will hurt.
I scared it will be unexpected.
I scared it will be soon.

I'm not ready.  I'm 46. I can't be halfway done with my time on earth, but I know it is looming out there.

Waiting.

Yes, I probably need to chill out.

Blog Challenge - Day 3

My favorite quote.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission"

Eleanor Roosevelt

Living that quote has helped me more than the years of therapy I went through.


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Blog Challenge - Day 2

20 things about me.

1. My favorite color is red.
2. I'm 46 and still scared of the dark.
3. I'm terrified of electricity.
4. I like Hello Kitty but only my children know.
5. I always wanted 10 kids. God blessed me with 6.
6. I hate mayonnaise.
7. I believe in ghosts.
8. I'm afraid of heights.
9. I love to read. As long as it's NOT a romance novel.
10. I've very picky about certain office supplies. NO black pens, blue only. I usually buy my own since I don't like what they have at work. NO small paper clips. Large, smooth only. The sound the grippy ones make on paper make my teeth itch. Lol
11. I might be a little OCD.
12. I also love music. All types. I own everything from Chopin to Dr. Dre.
13. I have 3 dogs. Nikko (Rottweiler) Karma (pit/boxer) and Bella (Shiz Tzu). They all sleep with us.
14. I also have 2 cats. Menessa and Luna. They don't sleep in our room since they play ALL night.
15. I have 2 grand daughters. Emily and Aurora. And it's true, grand kids are more fun. Lol
16. I got accepted into the Navy after high school but eventually turned it down.
17. I have owned my own restaurant and loved it.
18. I didn't set out to be an accountant. I originally wanted to be a marine biologist.
19. I could eat Mexican food everyday.
20. We have homemade Mexican at Christmas.


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Blog challenge - Day 1

Every year I promise myself I am going to blog more.

And every year I don't. 

I think of great topics or ideas or just life stuff, but time and work get in the way.  This year I came across a 31 day blog challenge and thought, COOL.  Of course today is the 11th and I haven't started.  And I wasn't going to.  I mean I didn't start on time and I can't break the rules. 

Then I thought.........RULES????

It is my blog and if I want to start a 31 day blog challenge on the 11th I can.  What is the worst that can happen?  The blog police will come and take away my blogging right??  

NOT.

So here is Day 1 - Introduction

My name is Alesia and I am 46 years old.  Yikes!!  46!!! That is way to close to 50 for my comfort.

Anyway, I live in Robertsdale.  A small town in lower Alabama.  I am an accountant and I will hopefully start reviewing to take my CPA exam later this year.  I have 6 children, 2 granddaughters, 3 dogs and 2 cats. (no wonder I have no time to blog)

I love to cook and read.  I combine the two by always cooking from a recipe. Even if I have made the dish 1000 times I will pull out the recipe and read it.  I love the order of it.  Probably why I am a good accountant.  Accounting involves rules and laws and steps. Feeds my inner OCD nerd. 

I was born September 23, a cusp, so I am both Libra and Virgo. 

Yes I love order and following steps but I have a creative side.  I love to be spontaneous and crazy AFTER I have done everything else in an orderly fashion.

Yes it drives my husband crazy, why do you ask. 

I was an only child but I was most definitely not spoiled.  I didn't know my bio father until I was 15 and my step "father" hated kids.  I spent a year of my life in foster care (my choice) before leaving my mothers house at 15. I have been working and paying bills for 31 years.

I hated being an only child but looking back I am so glad my mother never had another child.  I could not have left that child in that house when I left and I certainly could not have taken care of him/her.  I know I would have tried.  Flying below the radar at 15 and living in the projects would have been a lot harder. 

But I graduated high school and eventually at 24 built my own house that I still live in today.  It isn't huge but it is home.  

So what else...............

I am a huge Lebron James fan. 
My 3 favorite football teams are:
Greenbay Packers
Washington Redskins
and anybody playing Dallas. 

I really, really don't like Dallas.

I guess that's all for now. 

We do have 30 more days.  YAY!!

Day Book

Outside my window it is an overcast, cold, breezy day.  Makes me want to go back home, put on my pjs and read all day.

I am thinking about making something different for Thanksgiving but I don't think the family will let me. We already have mexican for Christmas, which they love, but Thanksgiving has remained very traditional.  Terry will fry the turkey (we are brining it this year, yes we are rebels, lol).  There will be stuffing, green bean casserole and some sort of pie.  Now don't get me wrong, they LOVE the thanksgiving meal. I always think it is just so predictable, but maybe that's why they like it so much.

I am thankful for the noise and chaos that is our family.  We are loud, messy, funny, and oftern disorganized, but we have lots of love and that is what's important.

In the kitchen is a VERY clean refridgerator.  Terry even used to drill to remove all the rails and we clean all shelfs, bins, glass, rails.........everything.  I even put non adhesive shelf liner on the shelves.  Hopefully, I will only have to wash the liner in the future. 

I am wearing my usual.  Black pants, grey turtleneck, black heels.  I DO own colors. Black, white and gray are colors.  LOL

I am wondering if this will be the first year we do not all sit down together to eat.  With the 3 girls all getting engaged recently, there are more places to visit on holidays.  One daughter is even working, grandbabies going here and there.........oh well, we will all see each other at some point and for that I am very thankful. As a result of our rapidly expanding family, this year we drew names for Christmas. We have never done that before. The kids were.........kids.........and we just bought everyone something. Now we have the 2 granddaughters who are old enough this year to really get into presents, plus a new 3 year old grandson, plus 3 future son in laws and it's just ALOT.  The kids all loved the idea.  We all agreed we could get the babies anything no matter what name you got. 

I am reading the latest Sword of Truth book by Terry Goodkind.  I finished the last book in the Mitch Rapp series by Vince Flynn and the last book in the Lincoln Rhyme series by Jeffrey Deaver.  I felt lost for a few days.  With Vince Flynn passing away, there won't be anymore books about Mitch Rapp so I need to start some of the books I have been putting off.

I am hoping that it warms up "just a tad" later this week.  I have a 4 day weekend, hubby is off also YAY!!, and I need to do a few things outside in the yard.  But if it stay in the 40's, the bushes will just have to stay untrimmed  LOL

I am looking forward to the next symphony in December. I finally bought a dress for the ocassion. And it's blue!!

I am learning to adjust to fewer people in the house.  While cleaning out the fridge this weekend, I realize I am still cooking like there are 6 people eating every night, which is not the case.  Nor are the people who are eating growing teenagers.  Gone are the days of cooking for 10-12 just to feed 4 teenagers.  Not sure if I am happy about this.

Around the house Terry and I are thinking of redoing the bathrooms.  The front (and guest) bathroom has been the same yelllow color for YEARS and I am sick of it.  Plus, when your husband is general manager of a granite company, you MUST have granite counter tops!!!  On the plus side, we don't pay for labor and get materials at very discounted prices. 

One of my favorite things about this time of year is the lights. Last year we didn't decorate but we are this year.  Lots of lights, and a tree, and I am going to use the christmas dishes.  Why wait?  I don't want to look back one day and regret not doing it.

The rest of my week is pretty standard. Working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.  Thursday is thanksgiving. But after that???  Not sure what the weekend holds.

Alesia

find more wonderful bloggers and share your own day at http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Sun worshipping

I have never been a sun worshipper. I have always been proud to be a very white, 45 year old woman who could easily pass for 35. As I got older, I always worried about sun damage, skin cancer and wrinkles.
My husband has always told me to relax. (He tells me that alot). He assures me that going to the beach occassionally will not make me suddenly look 50.
I can usually talk him out of going, I mean we have a pool. No sharks, no jelly fish, no sand and I can go in whenever I want.
Well his work has been chaotic lately. To the point that it is all he thinks about when he gets home at 930. So when he mentioned going to the beach today, how could I tell him no??
So we went.
We drank, we got way to much sun and got sand in places that shouldn't have sand.... And it was just what we needed.


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Day book

Outside my window........Across the street from my office is a two story white house with a wrap around porch.  The lady who lives there often has company for lunch and they sit on the porch. When you go outside you can hear then talking and laughing and having a good time.  I need more friends like that.

I am thinking about when you to start the process of taking the CPA exam. Once you start you have 18 months to pass the whole thing. I am worried about running out of time, I am worried about finding time to study, I am really worried about just not passing it.

I am thankful that I get to be such a big part of my grandbabies lives.  I could not imagine only seeing them a few times a year.

In the kitchen there is........nothing.  I have no idea what to have for dinner. Seems like a reoccurring problem lately.  I used to plan out meals for the week, get all the necessary items on the weekend and didn't have to stress over it.  I can't seem to get back to that.

I am wearing dress pants, a blue print shirt and low heels.  Yes, low heels. Sigh....

I am going to have Lasik eye surgery on Friday.  I am not really nervous, deep down I think I won't be a candidate for some reason.  It's the $940 that's bothering me.  I don't normally spend that much money on myself. 

I am reading "Consent to Kill" by Vince Flynn.  I have finished the Lincoln Rhyme series by Jeffrey Deaver so not to finish the Mitch Rapp series.

I am looking forward to the overnight stay for the surgery. Even though it is only 1 night it will be nice to alone with my husband.

Around the house it is a disaster.  Tax season takes it toll on cleaning. There are cobwebs everywhere I look it seems like. In years past my children have helped with it but not this year. The kitchen remodel is only half done, the ice maker in the fridge went out and two of the DirecTv boxes are fried.  I think I need a week off just to clean and schedule repair men.  And you can't put everyday life on hold to take care of the extra stuff so..........sigh.

A favorite quote for today.........."Keep Calm and Snuggle Your Husband". 

A few plans for the rest of the week - Just work and more work. Then the eye surgery on Friday and back home Saturday afternoon. Spend Sunday getting ready for the week ahead.

Post your own daybook and/or read some wonderful entries at http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Yesterday my husband:

Vacuumed my car
Changed the oil
Replaced the windshield wipers
Refilled the washer fluid and
Helped clean the inside.

And I didn't even ask him to.

Thank you baby.


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How homemade laundry detergent ruined my marriage

When I started blogging I met some amazing women. I am fortunate to have a diverse online friend base.  I met my sister from another mother.
I met lots of homeschooling mothers.
I met women who inspire me, make me laugh, and make me think.
Because of them (I got to blame somebody) I am hooked on Pinterest.

Also, because of one of them, I started making homemade laundry detergent.
I LOVE making it. Everytime I make it I feel empowered. I feel domestic. I feel like goddess.  I feel................I feel I need to get out more.  LOL
It truly does save alot of money.

My (soon to be ex) husband was not thrilled.  He liked name brand EVERYTHING.  He started by pointing out the the box of Borax said to add 1 cup per load and I was using 1 cup per 5 gallons. And it doesn't suds when  you put it in the machine.

Ok, thank you for the information. I read the box, I know what says. Can we get on with life?

Apparently we could not.

He fussed about the lack of suds, he fussed about the lack of smell, he fussed about the directions of the box.

EVERY TIME I MADE IT.!!!

So I did what any loving wife would do, I bought him the store brand.  But he never stopped fussing about the homemade stuff. I mean, come on, me and girls liked it and he didn't have to use it. But he fussed anyway.  And over time I resented it. Every time I bought the store brand I wanted to hit him with it.  Yes I am very level headed. 

Needless to say, it was not just the laundry detergent but it had to start somewhere.

My life is a movie

I was watching Sex and the City movie and realized I am Carrie Bradshaw after John leaves her on their wedding day.

Numb, well almost
Barely eating.
Not living.
She dyed her hair, I cut mine.
Just going through the motions of everyday life but not really participating. I make it through most of them.

The only thing I don't have is 3 best friends to cry to. 

We always think we can withstand anything that life throws at us but, sometimes, life blindsides us and we are left dazed and confused.

I don't hold out much hope for a happy ending. 

1st chistmas

Today we had Aurora's 1st Christmas.  (My youngest grand daughter)

Her mother is off today but works tomorrow, so today was half the family, tomorrow the other half.

So family arrived with gifts, but we hadto have bananas first.  LOL

After the bananas we got down to gifts.  There were several gifts of bottles which she was vary interest in, except that they were empty.

Her parents got her a stuffed animal that talks. She loved it.

She also got a toy that she can walk behind. She hasn't quite figured it out yet.

Our tradition is homemade mexican on Christmas. Again, due to my children's work schedules, we have divided the meal into two day. Today is Chicken Tortilla Soup with homemade cheese dip and homemade salsa.

Tomorrow is Sour Cream and Chicken Enchiladas and beef Chimichangas.  (spelling?)

We are also going to start on all 8 Harry Potter movies.  (I may be going to bed early. LOL)

Speaking of cooking, my youngest twins birthday was the 22nd.  They wanted to have friends over for dinner.  Yes, don't all 17 yr olds want a dinner party for their dirthday??  So I cooked Chicken and Parmesean Basil Dumplings.  It was a hit. 

My best friend Renda (who is married to my brother, even though I am an only child) got me a cook book for Christmas. Fifty Shades of Chicken.  LOL

It's a conspiracy to get me back into cooking. 

Depressing post

I don't know if my life could get more boring. 

Back when I was in college, and working full time, and raising kids; I couldn't wait to have a free weekend to do nothing.  Now I wish I had just one weekend a month that was fun. 

It's probably my own fault.  I have friends but I also keep the grand babies alot. I need to learn to say no more.  The funk I have been in has also played a big role in it.  Even now I am not sure if I would go out if given the chance. 

I should be thankful for this quiet time. Tax season is just around the corner with it's longer days and working every Saturday. I will once again be wishing for a boring weekend.

I need to start cooking again. I love to cook but I haven't felt like it lately. Add in the fact that I wasn't eating and I just didn't see the point.  The girls all work in restaurants so when they work it is basically just me, and a grandchild or two, and I don't know how to cook for one.

Christmas is right around the corner and I have done nothing. No tree, no decorations, nothing.  And I don't want to.  I am not even looking forward to cooking.  I hope the New Year is truly a new one, cause this one has sucked. 

Work has been going well.  Working on a few big projects which has kept me busy and, most times, my mind off other things. So maybe tax season will be a blessing in disguise.

For now, I just try to make it though to the next day.

Life

Thanksgiving went well.  I cooked both entrees and we all ate and it was a nice quiet family time. I got to spend all day with my oldest granddaughter. She was alot of help. LOL

Since then life has been slowly getting better. Even if more hectic.

When the kids were younger our life had a rhythm. A steady and predictable pace.  They went to school, I went to work.  When we got home it was homework, dinner, laundry, etc.  Now the 3 girls at home all have jobs and it is rare that we are all home together. 

My cooking habits have changed.  With no husband to cook for, most nights I don't cook at all.  I keep frozen stuff for me and whoever might be home.  The nights I do cook we end up with tons of leftovers since I don't know how to cook for just 2. 

Don't get me wrong, I am glad they are all growing up and having their own lives, but sometimes I do miss the times when we were all home together every night.  I have empty nest syndrome without the completely empty nest.

Work wise I am enjoying this quiet time before the start of tax season.  I know it is only 3.5 months but it feels a lot longer. You would think after 6 years I wouldn't stress over it, but I do each year.  Good news is with the kids all working and having their own lives, they won't have time to miss me not being here. LOL

Life

Macaroni and cheese and bacon.
That was last nights dinner.

The joys of living with teenage girls. LOL

Thanksgiving will be interesting this year as well thanks to the above-mentioned girls.  They each want something different.

Heather wants traditional:
Turkey
Dressing
Green bean casserole

Lindsay wants:
Hot wings
Homemade french fries.

Neither is willing to compromise and eat  their desired meal on Friday.

Middle East peace talks have nothing on the negotiation skills I have tried to utilize. And just like the Middle East, neither is willing to compromise. So I am cooking it all on Thursday and I better not hear a word about eating leftovers on Friday and Saturday.

Yes, I am a very in charge parent. lol

Life has been hard lately. I separated from my husband in September. Along with all of his stuff, his paycheck (1/2 our monthly income) left also. It was HARD.  Borrowed money from work and my best friend. My children have helped pay bills and my oldest daughter bought all the food and household items for 2 months. I am very thankful to them for their help.

We are getting better. This month all the bills were covered, I bought groceries and my children got to spend some of their money on............themselves.  I could not have made it without them.

On top of that, a person I cared a great deal for hurt me. BAD.  It is hard when you hear what they are saying, but you know it not them. Not their true feelings. You can't stop them from lying to themselves to make things the way they want them to be. All you can do is pray for them and for yourself, for healing.

All of this has put me in a "funk".  I barely sleep or I sleep for hours and hours. I barely eat. I have lost 20 pounds in the past month. Stress is good for something I guess.  People keep telling me to smile, eat, shake it off, be who I used to be. But I am no longer who I used to be.  Scars change us, sometimes permanently.

The pain will fade, over time, but things I used to "know" and believe and trust and no longer there. 
It is scary when you can know longer trust your own feelings.

But each new day, is a day to heal.

The grand babies are doing wonderful.  The oldest is a walking bundle of fun and energy. The youngest has decided that walking is more important than growing teeth. 8  months old, standing, trying to walk, with 2 teeth.  One day she is going to have to stop and grow them.  LOL

My youngest son works tomorrow so I have the oldest, 14 months, all day. Cooking will get done but there will lots of playing and cuddling.

Not a bad way to spend the day.

Hit me baby one more time....or three

The other night I had looked up a Gladys Knight & the Pips song on Youtube. As I was listening to the song, I began reading the comments.  Did you know that she was married 4 times? Neither did I.  That didn't shock me, what shocked me was the amount of negative comments regarding it.

It seems that society can accept one divorce. After two you get labeled and, heaven forbid, three and you are branded as a failure or a negative role model.

Why?

In business, and even in athletics, we are praised for repeated attempts at success. How many failures did Thomas Eddison have before he perfected the light bulb? Yet we forgive, and even glorify, people like Charlie Sheen and Michael Vick who did far worse than end a bad marriage.

Why was she divorced 3 times? I don't know and frankly I don't care.

Maybe it was the men. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was her. Maybe she had yet to find the one person who brought out the best in her. Helped her become the woman she was meant to be. Why should she settle for less? Why should anyone? It is really so bad that instead of just "shacking up" with the first 3 she made a commitment and stayed with it until its conclusion?

If someone stays at a dead end job, never trying to better themselves, we consider them a loser. We believe they should take a chance, step out in faith, change their life. Why should the matters of the heart be any different.  I don't believe every marriage is meant to last. People make mistakes, people grow apart. You marry someone hoping for the best but their best isn't good enough.

Divorce hurts. Whether it's your 1st or 15th.  It is the end of a dream, and of a life. A life you planned out with the other person. A life you lived every day believing you were building.  The realization that you were not enough is soul crushing.  Not enough to keep them faithful, not enough to make them happy, not enough to make them put forth an effort.

You are forever scarred by that.

Being judged doesn't help.

I am no longer bent.
I am broken.


- Alesia

Life as Nana

I love being a mom. And as my children get older it gets even more fun.
(OK the fact that they CAN and DO make their own decisions, and I can't ground them for the dumb ones is frustrating, but it is still fun.)

God blessed me with 6 beautiful children, all unique, all perfect.

But now God has blessed me beyond my wildest imagination.

Grandchildren!!!!

I have posted pictures of my two beautiful granddaughters, Emily and Aurora. It was fun when they were newborns; feeding them, burping them, their wonderful baby smell. But now that they are older, they are even more enjoyable.

Emily will be 1 on 9/22. 
I taught her to clap and make, what we call, the vampire face. When she gets made she will scrunch up her face and breath really hard and fast through her nose.  One day I did it back to her, showing her my upper teeth.  She stopped crying and did it back to me. So we sat there making this face back and forth at each other and she forgot whatever she was upset about.  That was a few months ago and she will still make the face when I see her.  Adorable.

Aurora just turned 6 months on 9/7.
Tonight she said her first word, with my coaxing.
Mama.
Her mama is at work so I videoed her saying mama and sent it to her phone.
And then I cried.

I am so fortunate to be able to be VERY involved in my grand children's lives. During their teenage years, there were times I was convinced that I would not be a part of my children's lives when they got older, much less their children. But it all works out in the end.

So I get to start over. Feeding them, changing them, bathing them, AND get to sleep through the night.

Heaven.

Now if they would just get big enough for squeaky shoes. LOL